雨好大，心好空

突然觉得题目很有深度，
整天在家，
显到一个爆点。

下载一部电影也要一整天的时间，
FB没有几条水是正正来交流的，
全部抛两句comment就siam了。

雨声像鼓棒一样，
敲击着窗口，
心就像被雨水溜过一样，
从上到下，
一丝丝的干净，空白

我望窗外看，
尘埃的离去让我看得更清晰，
外景实在却没表情，
可说似一面镜子，
反映我内心空洞的镜子。

好了，十点半了，
累了，想睡觉了，
怪了，感觉来了，
惨了，想读书了，
死了，今晚又不用睡了。

人

我们都是自己生命里的主角，
然而我们又全力去选自己的配角，
当两个主角走在一起，
故事就有冲突，
世界才不单调。

人有分很多种，
有的人天生低调，
就连在自己生命里，
也只想做配角。

活了十七年，
看了，想了，懂了，区分了，
各种不同的人。

那些在你伤心时一定来关心你，
无论如何都问个究竟的，
问完之后就消失的，
叫路人。

那些偶尔会想起你，
抱着中性的心态来找你的人，
友谊说深不深，说浅不浅的那种。
叫友人。

那些在你伤心时不问理由，
马上陪你哭，
在你快乐时还想逗你笑，
叫爱人。

那些你想尽办法去理解，
到最后毫无对策的，
叫怪人。

那些跟你非亲非故，
但带有着仰慕和期待的眼神的，
叫贵人。（伯乐）

那些只会在你绝望时，
完全不求回报，
立即给于你解决方案的，
叫仙人。

那些在你吃饱没事做，
想找个半聊天，
散散心才出现的，
叫游人。

那些你认为可以天长地久，
但却莫名地不能成为情人的，
叫梦人。

那些老是缠着你，
问东问西的，
叫烦人。

那些你看了感到有兴趣，
又找不到什么理由接近的，
叫别人。

那些你叫到他办事，
即使是合你同身份，
却把事情办得妥妥当当的，
叫好人。

那些老是对着你笑，
整天听你的故事，
从不分享的，
叫坏人。

那些只有在自己需要帮忙，
假心假意在你面前演戏的，
叫废人。

那些你尽心尽力去付出，
连一点感谢也没有的，
叫虚人。

那些自以为很厉害，
却又说到做到的，
叫超人。

那些只想袖手旁观，
什么也不想参与的，
叫旁人。

那些你可以尽情诉说，
彻彻底底相信，
字字句句跟你心灵相通的人，
叫心人。

看了这篇文章会去将，
身边的人一一分类的，
叫笨人。

这些东西是凭感觉去区分的，
不是凭别人怎样对待你而分类的。
请笨人诚实一点，click like.
我想统计统计。 haha.


Fin~

Starbucks Solo

Today went facial after school,
on solo. And and WaiHong depart
at titiwangsa, i monorial, he lrt.

After facial,
call my very seng mok de sister,
her hp langsung no on,
but she say is the cinema inside no line la.
Nvm, dunwan argue, so i went to starbuck.

Ever since i tasted dunno was coffee or expresso,
i was like anti starbucks till today.
Really no where to go,
so i go inside to order a chocolate drink.

Till now i also dunno wat it is called,
according to my reciept,
its shortform is called ChoCrmCFpBle.
i encrypt it as Chocolate Cream "Fp dunno" Blended.

Got abit lonely lar,
cause i was sitting near the staircase,
ppl come and go,
i'm the one off the flow.

Sharon u dun blow big big ar,
next time i go ur house fetch u to Starbucks,
u better come out. LOLs.

Saw many youngsters gathering at there too,
perhaps our 班刊 can go there discuss,
i bet Little Rice wanna go. LOLs.

Somehow but i dunno how,
starbuck's wifi wun work,
got abit disappointed,
anyways my phone had been facing alot of technical problems lately.

Tmr need to take P.J. test,
hope i wun muscle pain again.
And tomorrow, finally tomorrow,
the day i waited for 4 years.

Tkd farewell party,
finally can be called lou hai liao.
Muahahahahahahahaha........

Gotta slp early today,
nite nite everyone.


Fin~

Sombre News

Ytd night got an unknown number
suddenly sms me,
my first reply was "do you have legs?'
LOLs.

She replied "have"
oo.... it was carmen.
Kinda though abt it,
this year haven sms with her.

We're like stranger friends,
or like oversea buddies,
(although in the same school,
bump into each other everyday.)

We only sms once a while,
but that one conversation,
its like dragging us walk through the old times again,
it feels free to talk to her.

Then her one particular reply,
gave me a real big shock
"Last time d hong yi oso wont think too much d wor".

I must admit,
this year i think too much,
too much abt my future,
too much abt my work,
too much abt love,
too much abt everything.

now's the last quarter of this year liao,
remaining 4 months,
3.5months till graduation,
more like separation.

I dun wanna leave with regrets,
either i find the old me back,
or i refresh the whole.
and i need help from my frens for the previous option.

Today after school,
received a sombre news.

My grandpa is in ICU at the moment,
and the doctor says,
he dun have much time left.

As Fish Rice once said,
活着就有希望，
if he is still breathing,
i hope there's miracles.

Although we didnt have much nice times,
but yet, he's still my family,
and i dun hope any forever farewells,
happen in my family.

All the best gramps.......


Fin~

New Face

Ok blog refurnished,
although looked abit sissy and girly,
but bo bian lo,
must follow the market de mar,
my blog viewer consist of 80% female. =)

Just now went for jogging,
the sun freakin hot.......
Just stand there also can sweat liao,
why waste the effort to run. ==

I was going around circles in my housing area,
due to pasar malan nearby,
many ppl side parking along the roadside.

Then chineses out there u know wat day is today de lo,
while i was running everyone was looking at me,
it like the nvr see anyone jog b4.

While maybe seeing some1 so stupid to jog
under the hot sun is first time for them la,
but i hope they dun see "any1" following behind me lo.
LOLs. choi choi choi~~~~

Haha.........
2 days dunwan bird her,
she finally ask "why" liao,
hope she really changed for herself la.

Meiling,
and anti ant authority (AKA 3As')
gonna go.
Its very torturing to see u kill those ants,

And thx for ur big big lie,
i will try to reduce my pimples de,
thx for caring. ==

SK even goggled the skin specialist name for me,
got touch dao....
see him malat malat de,
nvr thought he will be go buddyish.
GOOD JOB MAN. (宅男mou?)

And lockling ar~,
i dunno why u like the term "宅" la,
but hor better dun like it so much,
later u become like me.

Then someone dunno which day la,
very sweet sweet wo......
他陪了我一整天.
Fuiyo..... she sure dunno happy dou how to describe liao.

The porn king (zhenyan),
is getting more geng liao,
i dun wish to see ur photo on the front page la,
with the headline written,
"teenager being killed for sexual abuse",
so u sendiri contorl little la. LOLs.

Actually today i got nth to write de,
i see the page too short so just type wateva i thought of now.
If too long ar.....
dun scold me for spamming. LOLs.
(this paragraph referring to JianLin)


Fin~

Frustration

Just now i was having a nap,
6.18 i dig into my bed,
7.40 my mom keep bussing me to wake up.

i was like "5 more mins"
then she keep shaking my legs,
WTF........
No other choice liao, forced to wake up.

She said were going for dinner with my uncle,
he just came back from Taiwan,
fine..... at least got kids to play with.

My alarm was set at 8.30pm,
nearly 40mins gone,
now still quite tired,
no mood to do anything.

Someone call me on9,
sendiri dunno die to where,
felt like being released aeroplane.
==|||||||||

SPM trail ar,
can dun come so early?


Fin~

Case Closed

now the case is considered close,
haiz......

the same thing happend again,
just different characters involved.

life is always harsh for someone at sometimes,
same things have different effect on different people,
达不到两情相愿，就会有一方受伤。
well said lo this one......

i have my policy of keeping my clients files confidential,
cant talk much.

all i can give is a sigh........
to him, her and me.

Is this a happy ending ?
i also dunno.
But at least everyone's satisfied now.
Haha.

Being an observer always must be prepared for the worst scenarios,
luckily i'm well prepared.
LOLs. Wonder if they are.... =(

Due to this post a pretty much not related to me,
so i hope no1 gives any comment,
if u cant help it, just tick those emotions enough.


Fin~

i think i'll blog again

recently drained of ideas,
more like dun have time to think of ideas,
i guess i just stick to the original track,
keep on writing my blog as open dairies.

Well early in the morning,
i was fine.
Once i reach school,
one cup of iced milk tea,
i ended up 10mins in the toilet.

Those old folks were right,
iced drink for breakfast is NO GOOD.

Today school's was only last 3 periods,
first period chiong BM,
second period English.

Gonna stop being 宅男 liao,
so i decided to socialised more.
Coeinne shared alot of stories today,
we talked more than one hour.

The whole conversation was like,
WOW~~~
found another good listener. (although she talked the most ==)
But dunno trust worthy anot la,
still in beta.....

After school went to 5Azhong,
my hand really can't afford to play badminton,
its must've injured ytd during dodge ball,
cant smack ball today, AKA no fun.

So we went to TS to watch movie,
Bryan waited at the monorial station almost 45mins liao,
very sry ar....... ==

Love in disguise 11.40,
Inception 11.50,
all full house......
Love in disguise 1.40, only left 1st row.

Fine, pass.....
Go up on stair,
ampang bowl.
I tried to take no.8 first,
Gosh........ my hand hurts.......
Plus the price, RM10 per game, can go rob le.

Ok, go up again,
Pool.......
Some "kids" need to listen to their parents,
so we skip that again.

Haiz......
nth to do..... really really nth to do........
went ppl watching,
6 malatlou gap here gap there. LOLs.

finally 12pm,
went to McD,
wah, puasa really is puasa,
no malays at all.

Ok,
now finish our lunch,
still nth to do.

Normally wanna go gasoline and camp inside,
i really do enjoyed blowing water inside,
the atmosphere really diff,
although the food sucks..........

But all 3xin plus one ZhongYan,
scare he too sienz so we went Daytona instead.
Really hate those Lalas,
lepak here lepak there,
then join our game and still won in 1st place.

Really got pissed,
feel like challenging him on the highway.
In real life of course.

Still nth to do,
some of them went home,
Wai Hong, Hong Fong, and me went borders.
He found his book,
and then he tell me he dun have to money to buy for it.
Claps...... Wasted my precious time.

Now our boredom reached the climax,
as 郑导 says, 要在高潮中结束。
We Went Home LU~~~~~~

Although we were strolling around the whole afternoon,
but i really enjoyed to be surrounded by people.
Shit i sound like 宅男。。。。。 ==

As you are aware,
i'm not quite in a good mood these few days for no reason,
and now i'm in a good mood for no reason.

I think it's somehow related.
Still finding a spot in the world which can calm my mind,
perhaps i'll try to find it on the hills.
Gonna take my visa from dad to makan angin with car tmr.

tata~
PMR kias jiayous although the paper is useless but enjoy the feel of studying,
SPM kias jiayous although is hard but without the paper ur useless.


Fin~

哀悼

现在距离于是还有29天，
人人都在拼了，
我也当然在拼。

Msn 越来越少人，
FB 的老朋友也不见了，

从前那堆朋友，
横冲直闯，
不顾一切，
为了快乐而活的“损友”，
开始一个一个不见了。

拍拖的拍拖，
专心的专心，
三五成群的三五成群，
人人都变了。

Season 一只说我宅，
其实我重来没有否认过，
只是不敢再大众前承认。

我已经没有超强的社交能力了，
我的世界只剩下我了，
我除了会唱歌之外，
什么“拉近人与人之间的距离”的技巧都没了。

我开始不会吹水，
我开始变得无聊，
我开始对世界失去了兴趣。

我对心境这门学问越来越有兴趣，
我对别人的内心越来越了解，
我的思考越来越抽象，
已经到了超越人类正常沟通的境界。

太了解别人，
却会让自己融入别人的泪滴当中。
不去体会别人，
却狠不下心看别人无助。
理下不理下，
确是自己在掉自己胃口。

好矛盾。。。。。。

"Ore No Genkai
我的极限。"

这句话一直在我脑海里盘旋，
我到底被什么压制住？
我在怕什么？
我想知道。

我需要改变，
我需要离开，
我需要飞翔，
我需要高奔，
我需要瞭望，
我需要想通。

如果流泪代表一个人emo，
那我真的emo了。
这莫名的眼泪。。。。。
你可以说话吗？

火神

最近心情不是很好，
多于想很多却不实际行动的我，
更是一种痛苦，
只能想象，
越踩越深，
脱离了实际。

我的野心很大，
我感觉得到，
我的能力不小，
那是骗自己的，
我开始看到自己的懦弱。

我不服输，
以父之名，
以母之品，
以友之情，
以爱之力，
我应该已经处在高处。

我已经忘了自己，
什么时候停下脚步，
从看着地下的人往上爬，
到和他们肩并肩作战，
直到现在往上看他们的裙底和裤脚。

这个石柱仿佛没有尽头，
我紧紧地抱着柱子，
不敢想上，
也代表我怕往下掉。

握了太久，
我的手开始僵硬，
不能放开，
应为我放不下。

石柱的表面开始因为我的堕落，
有了怪物，
这些怪物一天一天的在腐蚀石柱。
石柱的直径减少了，
双手形成的圆之直径却不变，
我最后还是会跌下去。

达不到目标，
维持不到现况，
自己也越来越宅了，
我看不小去。

我内心的愤怒开始沸腾，
我的体热继续上升，
失败和无奈不停地在催化着，
我这内向的愤怒，
开始燃烧我的身体，

我的血在高速回转着，
旋转得太快从身体爆了出来，
鲜血化成了火苗，
我的身体越烧越热，
火焰越来越猛烈。

石柱上的怪物被烧死了，
孟热的火焰使在双手里结块的污血净化了，
我开始能动，
杂念也被我的火烧灭了，
我的脑开始在跑，
小人开始离开我的视线，
我的自信开始累计。

我可以爬了，
我的恨将帮我达到燃点，
别人的眼光将成为我的助燃物，
我想把石柱烧了。
再建一座更厉害的，
就建个火柱吧。

没有别的人爬得上，
没有任何神妖鬼怪可以征服的火柱。

我要上得更高，
我要看得更远，
我要得到更多。

不。。。。
应该是说我得！

我会继续烧，
我会继续毁灭不重要的，
我会继续用身上的火围住重要的，
不让他们被伤害。

我决定了，
若没有一个好的理由，
我都不再熄灭。


Fin~

Urgent

tmr no change class with 5sxiao liao,
because their class got ppl's leg hurt,
just stay in our current class and pack up,
standby for jiao wu chu's orders.

martin....
any updates i will post here,
stay tuned.

反省反省

最近都很迟谁，
一个星期，
白天无所事事，
晚上却问题重重。

人与人之间的问题会有解决得完的一天吗，
难道真的要我去读每个人在想什么吗？
虽然不礼貌但却实际。

从来没有想过做班长可以这么好玩，
你也可以说我变态，
但对已拥有阴谋论，
侦探头脑的我，
破别人的心计是非常有趣的。

但破到最后却出现了一个问题，
我到底是谁？
我活着的目的是什么？

昨天放学碰到一个年中考认识的朋友，
原来她妈妈实在贩卖部做工的，
之前看到他和同事在吃冰，
把孩子丢在食堂温习功课。
超吊的。。。。

之后他问了我不少问题，
关于未来的打算，
我只能给可观的意见，
个人意见寥寥无几，
我自己都没有方向吗。。。。。

然后那个学生还是对大脚念念不忘，
不要暗爽啊。
我也顺便帮你打了你拿91,92,91,92....的广告。
还有顺便踩一下你的花文跟国文。

他们母子俩都很佩服你一下，
他妈妈还很严肃的希望你可以读好华文。
哈哈。。。。。

总觉得自己的amanah一直在下降，
奉劝市面上的人，
你们要听，要懂，要幸什么谣言不关我的事，
但如果你有份去散播这些无谓的谣言，
而我的名誉也因为你们的脏嘴而受损，
那请你放心我不会放过你的。

嗨。。。。。
今天的英文唱歌比赛，
为了这场演出，
几乎三天没有唱华语歌了，
因为我的唱腔中西不能相容的。 ==

最后还是配不上可殷和君慈的声音，（没有王子边不要怪我）
可以说是tour sui 了你们。
对不起。。。。。。

要找一个可以听你的心事的人不简单，
能够了解你的心境的人更稀有，
但往往那些sohai sohai 的却拥有以上的能力，
这几天遇到了不少表面sohai,
背后跟我心灵相通的人。

谢谢你们被我发现，
从今以后的夜晚，
更有趣了。。。。。。。

还要顺便提一提，
我是一个很少会为了实事而伤心的人，
所以Da Chuan, X2Jia, BigFoot你们不用问我作么emo,
我根本就没有。

这是一种艺术性兼哲学性的内心思考，
当中包含一丝丝的感慨，
和对世界的疑问，
但就算所有的负面因素加起来，
也不足以我伤心的。
所以不要想太多啦。